February 8, 2012 • 6:00 am
Okay, so you creeped that guy’s Tingle profile for weeks and finally sent him a message, you had a great phone conversation and have agreed to meet. Things really clicked so you’re meeting at a restaurant for a lovely romantic dinner. Here’s how to navigate that evening successfully and maximize your enjoyment and amplify his interest!
DON’T: Be late
Guys are even more uncomfortable than women when left alone in a hopping restaurant. If you’re running behind send him a text message, and if you’re really behind schedule ask him what he’s wearing and then call the restaurant and have the bartender bring him a drink -- on you.
DO: Pay him a compliment
Want to get your date to relax and slide into normal conversation? Break the ice with a small tangential compliment. It doesn’t mean you’re going to marry the guy, and he won’t interpret it that way, but it will help calm the nerves for both of you, as you’re quite likely to receive a compliment in return.
DON’T: Talk about a former relationship
Much of our lives are lived during past relationships, and tempting though it might be to share interesting stories, now is not the time. Don’t allow a guy who you don’t even think of anymore to interfere in building something new with a guy you’re thinking about a lot.
DO: Order a real meal
Order something delicious to eat, using his meal order as a cue. Don’t just peck at an appetizer salad – he’ll think you’re hung up on food. Don’t take this as a license to go crazy, however, as he’ll think you’re taking advantage of his chivalry in paying for the meal. If you can’t eat everything on your plate, offer to share – it’ll create intimacy.
DON’T: Play with your phone
Just because you met using a mobile dating app doesn’t give you license to tweet and text and Facebook with your friends throughout the date. If his company alone isn’t enough to sustain your interest, why are you with him?
DO: Be true to yourself
There are plenty of fish in the sea, so share the real you with this person. Be self-effacing but not self-critical. And if you find yourself on a date or in a conversation that’s going nowhere, pull the plug and be honest. You owe it to him, too. Last week we gave you tips on how to dump a downer date so you can use one of these if appropriate.
DON’T: Leave the table to go and smoke
If he doesn’t smoke but you do, you’re in a tough spot. You can’t leave him sitting alone to go have a cigarette, so instead invite him to come with you and take your wine glasses to the patio. If he won’t come with you, then you’ll either be stocking up on nicotine patches or this thing isn’t likely to work out.
DO: Have fun and relax
Dating is fun! Chill out, find out about him, and encourage him to tell funny and embarrassing personal stories that you can laugh at together. You’re not there to administer a quiz or run his attributes against a checklist. Even if there’s no immediate love connection you can still have fun as long as you’re open to friendship – and why shouldn’t you be?
Today’s post is proudly sponsored by