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Gettin’ Down Before The Fantasy Suites … How Bad Is It?


I always love reporting back to you guys about The Bachelorette. This week, I did something different and LIVE STREAMED through PERISCOPE (you must download and add me! It’s SO addicting!) If you want to watch my real life live stream … you can still watch it for 24 hours or… I added it here.

But for those of you who still love to read, here are my coles notes.

GAHHHHH Nick. Ok listen. Did Kaitlyn make a mistake gettin’ down before the fantasy suites? Maybe. But if YOU have NEVER made one of these spur of the moment rash decisions in your life, you really can’t judge. I mean their chemistry was undeniable, and while the two of them are grown adults able to make their own call … I can guarantee you there was SOME coaching behind the scenes to go back to the room … and to have some ‘privacy’ in her bedroom. I’ll bet neither one of them intended on it going that far, but it did, and honestly that is their perogative. I don’t care about the ‘RULES’ or really about the other guys. It sounds SUPER rash and mean but I look at it this way. SHE IS LOOKING FOR HER FOREVER. The only rules are she MUST follow her heart along the way and do what SHE feels is necessary to find that person … and SOMETIMES (AND I SPEAK FROM VERY STRONG EXPERIENCE) making MISTAKES brings you closer to what you are looking for.


Being on the show taught me a lot of things about myself, but most importantly, I realized that JUDGING really gets you nowhere. It just breeds negativity in your life, makes you look judgmental and makes the person your directing your opinions on, feel like shit. And making people feel like shit does not ‘teach them a lesson’ … it just makes them feel like shit. That’s all. If you really want to make an impact, react with love, kindness, understanding and an open mind.

I understand this move Kaitlyn made is going to hurt the guys … and THAT SUCKS. BUT THIS, THE BACHELORETTE is a TV SHOW, where you put your heart, soul and life on display with 25 other men. Even though the emotions are real, it really isn’t real life. You do things you wouldn’t normally do in real life because of the timeline and quantity of people involved at one time. You act a bit ‘different’ because you are under stress, pressure, you are away from the things that make you feel whole. You don’t have a phone, your family, your routine. You are just flying by the seat of your pants literally reminding yourself everyday to do the best you can.


I am SO grateful for the mistakes I have made in my life. They have made me humble, they have made me less judgmental, they have taught me what I want and don’t want. They have allowed me to forgive, love myself and learn to trust myself.

If Kaitlin doesn’t end up with Nick … then there might be a hurt man at the end of this. My words to him … THIS show, has brought you the woman of your dreams. Life is about to get really fricken awesome with this hilarious fun loving beauty. But ‘the show’ also comes with some thorns. The ‘process’ is a complete mind fu#& and TRUE success at the end is realizing this and putting your blinders on until its all over. TRUST the LOVE and nothing else.


Le sigh. Ok what else. Oh Ya. If Ian is the Bachelor I literally will NEVER watch again …  and lastly IRELANDDDDDDDD I’ve been twice and its one of the most magical places on the planet. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

So… thoughts?


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  1. I think kaitlyn got caught up in the moment and the whiskey clouded her judgement. I don’t think she did anything wrong and I agree with her tha being compatible sexually is important. I wish Nick had been more of a gentleman and showed some restraint though instead of being all over her. I think she is more enamoured by Nick because of how hard he has worked to be there and less because they really have a connection. I think Shawn is kind, sweet and genuine to the core so I really hope IT is him in the end.
    I still think you were the best bachelorette though 🙂

  2. Hi Jillian,
    So I pretty much only started watching the bachelor/bachelorette this season with the exception of wedding specials and Ashley’s season. I heard Kaitlyn does charity work for Raw beautytalks and I wanted to support her. I realize that a lot of what we are seeing at home is not the full perspective of actual reality (its strange to me that produced reality is more popular then the actual truth) I am in no place to judge because I’ve never been in her situation and we’re not the same person so who knows. If people are going to do it anyway in a few episodes down the line in the fantasy suites then I don’t understand the big deal is and all the “shock”. The only thing I don’t feel was right (and again 25 men have never been wanting to date me lol) Is that she’s really been building some intense emotional connections with other men (shawn b. especially but also jared and ben H.) and I just feel like how could you feel so deeply for someone or someones and yet get intimate with another guy who you actually haven’t spent as much quality time with just because you’re feeling frisky? That being said though I think my problem is really with the show because it feels ingenuine to spend the night with two people in the fantasy suite and than be able to know the next day who you want to spend forever with. I would like to think that my feelings for the man I’m about to be engaged to would be strong enough for me to not want to be all over someone else. I wish Kaitlyn so much happiness and feel sad that shes being bullied for something that has probably happened many times before just more discretly.

    My dream is to take my dad on an all paid trip to Ireland..his favorite country.. I have CP and walk with a walker and he has back problems so we just have to figure out how tweedle dee and tweedle dum get around given that Ireland isn’t very handicap friendly. We will get there!!

    I am a huge fan of you Jillian. I never saw you on the bachelor/bachelorette, i only got to know you afterwards but I think you have an incredible personality and something special about you. Great style, big heart, adventurous,and I think all those things are very inspiring. I’m 25, have cp and walk with a walker and have been dealing with some not so fun health issues that have kind of put life on hold spending most of my days at home. You always keep me entertained. I hope that if and when I get better I’m able to take life by the balls like you and go on lots of travel adventures, give back with my career (i want to help bullied victims and also help people going through health issues and go on humitarian trips), have fun in this life, fall in love(if someone will have me lol), rescue a dog and use my struggles to help inspire others.

    Wishing you all the best! Ps you’re gorgeous

  3. So wise Jillian ❤️ I’m 55 and so very proud to see soooo many young smart intelligent women like yourself live their lives according to who they truly are and not what they are “suppose to be” Im an extremely proud mom of a beautiful smart daughter who has taught me tons about keeping real.
    #teamkaitlyn #canadian #authentic

  4. Amen to it all. Kaitlyn is the boss of her own life, who are we to judge? On a side note, intentional or unintentional boner pick of K&N walking. Too good!

  5. Hi Jillian, thank you for your bachelorette recap. I really look forward to it every week. I watched your periscope recap and noticed at the end you mentioned a hair tutorial. I love your hair and cut mine to be the same length as yours and would love to see the tutorial. I signed up for periscope and found you on there but I couldn’t find the hair video. How do I see that? Please let me know! I’m hopeless when it comes to styling my hair.

  6. I just don’t get her attraction to Nick. Did she not watch what a raging douche bucket he was to And I? I appreciate your point of view in this, since you know what it’s like to be in her shoes. Kaitlyn seems like someone I’d be friends with, I hope things work out with her & Shawn.

  7. I need to know, what kind of under eye brightener/concealer are you using in your video!? So bright and awake! I need it!

  8. Spot on. Kaitlyn is a big girl making her own choices. I applaud her for not trying to please anyone as this can completely limit you from some of the best experiences in life. Maybe Nick is her guy…maybe not. How will she know if she follows popular opinion?? Good on you Kaitlyn for staying true to you….whatever that may be 🙂

  9. soo… I was SUCH a huge fan of yours while I was on the show. I follow you on facebook, etc. Again one of my favorite bachelorettes… but this video, just annoyed me. I really hope you haven’t let all the fame go to your head, you seem bossy and most definitely inlove with yourself. I really hope you didn’t change from the girl you were, grown up yes, but not lost who you were from the beginning. all the best to ya, just something to keep in mind.

  10. I understand everyone is a grownup here and Kaitlyn can make her own decisions and “people should be free to express their sexuality” and all that, but comon! Having sex with nick this early in the show was SO disrespecful to the other guys, and it wasnt a rash decision heat of the moment type thing. she talked about it first, she knew very well what she was doing. i wouldnt blame the other guys for leaving. If i were one of them, I would too. Still love kaitlyn, but think its a really stupid mistake she made given the situation she is in. If this wasnt the bachelorette then i wouldnt care. But because it is, you have all these other people to think about, that care about you a lot. You can’t just throw their feelings under the bus becuz Nick is a manipulative douche.

  11. LOL! I loved the Periscope recap, and how candid you are! Your perspective is refreshing and honest. At the end of the day, it’s Kaitlyn’s life. Who are we to judge her actions? Thanks!

  12. I totally understand what Jill is saying about the show, the setting, the pressure, the “scripting” for the dramatic effect, and all of the stuff that keeps us watching. That being said, I still think that all Kaitlyn has with Nick IS the passion. C’mon, what else do they have? We never see her try and get to know Nick the person. Same with Jared…I don’t think I know anything, or very little, about him. We know more about (just MY opinion here) Ben H, Ben Z, and Shawn than we do Nick and Jared. I find those three really good guys, and she really seemed to have passion with Shawn. I was really disappointed that she took off with Jared when she and Shawn had a nice time at the group date evening time. I’m having a bit of an issue with this season, in that on the group dates whoever “wins” the early part of the date, gets to spend the rest of the evening with her, or the bigger part of it, and they take off. How are you supposed to get to know these men when that happens? That’s their only time with you for an entire week. I could see it if it was once or twice, but every week? C’mon producers, you’re going to start losing viewers. In the final analysis, this is her life and her choice, but I hope Nick’s true colors come out and she finds out he’s a creep before the REAL fantasy suites dates!! Oh…..and one last thing….I want the rose ceremonies at the END of the show like they were before!!! Stop changing the show, producers….as the saying goes….”if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”!!

  13. First, LOVE the recap and I LOVE Love it or List it, too! AND also Todd!! AND your blog!! Second, If you aren’t expecting people to judge your decisions, DONT GO ON A TV SHOW! And lastly, I am not kaitlyn bashing here, but I do have to admit the sex so early takes away from a lot of the reasons we want women today to think they are a prize. Maybe I am speaking as a mom (because I am one– not that I am old!),but I wouldn’t want my daughter to just feel like she needs to give it up in the moment to anyone at anytime. Not having sex and waiting until you know someone is the one makes you more of a prize to be won, because that’s what the show is all about afterall. Finding an amazing forever women to spend the rest of your life with. You should feel like a prize! What women isnt?!Sex is something very very special, and I think it’s a bad example for a lot of the youngsters watching this show. I don’t care how sexual kaityn is or whatever she does in her private life, I don’t judge, but SHE IS ON TV right with LOTS of people watching what she is doing and why she is doing it. You can have passion, but I don’t think it’s ok to be saying on national tv that it’s ok because she is an adult. Because keeping a special part of yourself special means you have worth for what it is.

  14. Exactly, well said BacherfanDN !! Thank you! I think having sex in the fantasy suite is way different than having sex already in the show with someone. All these men want her, and all it takes is for Nick to make it clear he wants to bang her. And now she feels like a “desired woman?” Comon Kaitlyn, Nick has the least amount of class out of these guys and thats why he went for it. The other guys know better, and also wouldnt expect or want the woman they’re gonna potentially marry sleeping with another guy shes dating and not them. Totally unfair to the guys, makes Kaitlyn look less classy, and makes Nick look like even more than a douche than what we alredy knew he was. I Love kaitlyn, but lost a little bit of respect for her. Sex is very special, and to be any one of those guys right now, would be tough. If i was a girl on the bachelor and the bachelor slept with one of the girls i would be gone. Because how disrespectful. Your there to find the person your gonna marry and theyre just easily giving their most intimate parts of themselves to someone else.

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