Last summer, right after the wedding, I was in the best shape of my life.
I don’t say that to brag. I say it because I want you to know: you can be doing everything right and still fall off the wagon. I was doing strength training once a week, hot yoga/fusion class once a week. I was feeling strong, feeling motivated, feeling like myself in a way I hadn’t in a long time. I was consistent. I was proud of that consistency. I genuinely thought, okay, this is just who I am now. This is my routine.
And then life happened… The way it always does.
What Actually Happened
After the wedding, I stayed pretty consistent with my workout routine. Not as intense as before, but I strength trained every Tuesday and did my power fusion class on Fridays. Then things started to wobble.
Losing Nacho the year before, the wedding, Justin’s ankle surgery, some complicated business stuff… and by the time the holidays hit, my head wasn’t in a great place.
January was actually good, I stayed active by skiing most weekends… but then it got loose again. My shoulder injury turned into an MRI, which turned into a couple of tears and early arthritis, and working out just hurt. Add in a TON of travel for work. You get the idea.
Then in late spring, I had an experience at my yoga studio that made me realize I didn’t need a tweak… I needed a whole new routine. And my personal trainer, who I loved loved loved, moved 45 minutes away. So at the start of summer I just… stopped. Took the whole thing off. And I’m not mad about it. What I was doing worked for me while it was working for me… and then one day it just wasn’t. I told myself I’d get back into it. And here we are… end of September…. and I haven’t consistently worked out in months. And, hey, that’s okay!
Here’s the Thing Though: I’m Not Beating Myself Up About It
It’s so easy to fall into an all-or-nothing mindset. The kind where if you can’t do the whole routine, you decide there’s no point doing any of it. Where missing one workout turns into missing a month, because some part of your brain has already decided you “failed,” and now you carry around a feeling of guilt and shame.
Not this time.
Because when I actually look at where my time and energy went these past few months, I don’t feel bad about it at all. I chose the kids… I chose family. I’ve been so present with Leo and Annie, soaking in every second, because I know how fleeting this time is. They are growing up SO fast, and one day I’m going to miss these exact ages…. these exact summer days. I’ve spent time with my parents too, and that time is precious in a way that doesn’t need explaining to anyone who’s ever felt the clock ticking on it.
We’ve had some fun family trips this summer. We hosted my cousin Stephanie’s wedding at our farm. We’ve gone out for dinners with friends and had family in town visiting. I wouldn’t change any of that.
So if you’ve fallen off a routine this summer… a workout plan…. a commitment you made to yourself, anything, I really want you to hear this: you don’t need to beat yourself up.
Coming Back to It
I do want to get back into working out. I’m not giving up on it, that’s not what I’m getting at here. But I’m trying to approach it differently this time…
It’s easy to get into a habit of operating in extremes, all in or all out, nothing in between. And I think a lot of you can probably relate… but for me, if I can’t do the “whole” routine, some part of my brain decides not to do any of it. So this time, I’m choosing to sprinkle activity in where I can, instead of waiting for the perfect moment to start a structured routine again.
Instead, for now I’m playing with the kids outside at the farm. Swimming with them in the pool. A hot yoga class when I can fit it in. Surfing (for the first time in 20 years!!!) on our recent trip to Tofino. Movement as it comes, not forcing it in any way.
Speaking of movement… I just bought my first bike as an adult, and I am SO excited about it.
It happened after I watched Justin and the kids biking to tennis camp this summer. There was something about seeing the three of them riding off together that made me think, I want in on that. So I got a bike, and now it’s a new activity I get to share with them. It’s not a workout in the traditional sense, but honestly it feels like exactly what I need right now.
What Hasn’t Slipped
I want to be clear that “falling off the wagon” doesn’t mean everything fell apart. I still live a very healthy lifestyle. I’m still on my supplements, still eating well, still gluten-free (haven’t looked back on that one, lol). And honestly, I live a pretty active life naturally… I’m constantly putzing around, gardening, cleaning, doing work around the yard. Scheduled workouts might have paused, but movement never really stopped, it just looks different right now.
And When Winter Comes…
I’m already SO excited to get back on the ski hill. In case you missed it, last winter I really got into skiing, and I am HOOKED. So while the summer has been about rest and family and stepping back from the gym, I know winter is going to be full of weekends spent up at the hill and I couldn’t be more excited.
So If You’ve Fallen Off Too…
Here’s what I want you to take from this: if you’ve fallen out of a routine that you were proud of, don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re allowed to step back from something without it meaning you’ve failed or that you have to start completely over. Everything in moderation… including the pressure we put on ourselves. Let’s just try to get rid of that pressure altogether, okay??
I know at some point, I’ll get back to my strength training and hot yoga. But I’m not going to rush it, and I’m not going to beat myself up over it in the meantime. I’m going to keep gardening, keep chasing my kids around the yard, get on my new bike, and count down the days until ski season.
If you’ve been slacking on something you were once committed to, be gentle with yourself. We’re all just doing the best we can.
xo
Jilly
