Hello again!! If you caught my Instagram stories today you’ll know that yesterday was a VERY important day for our family because my cousin Sam and husband Dustin FINALLY had their baby GIRL and we are over the MOON!! Her name is Hayden, she came in at 6 pounds (exactly, might I add) and is so ridiculously CUTE!!! In addition to yesterday’s exciting news, it just so happened to be mine and Justin’s 5 year anniversary and while I meant to share this blog with you yesterday morning I was a WEE BIT sidetracked at the hospital, as you can imagine!
5 years ago yesterday, I anticipated ‘another first date’ … I was the perfect definition of single and had many Mr.Wrongs on my hands … then I had met this cute, hunky, guy at Roses Pub the week prior and had finally agreed to go on a date with him. I was nervous because I knew he was the nice type and if you followed my love history from the beginning the “nice guy” wasn’t my type back then, BUT I knew I needed a change … and that’s when we went off on our first date.
I’ll never forget what I wore, skinny jeans, knee high Freye boots (flat) and a cute little beaded cream tank with a slight peplum ruffle on the bottom. I was nervous as hell because I KNEW this guy was different, and sure enough, he showed up to my apartment with a MASSIVE bouquet of flowers and was waiting for me outside his jeep. We had an AMAZING first date, we sat at the bar at a restaurant and chatted for HOURS. Right then, I knew that wasn’t going to be our last date. So, today, in celebration of our anniversary, I would like to share with you some things I’ve learned over these, wild and crazy years about LOVE!
Alright, let’s take a little trip down memory lane and I’m going to share with you the 10 lessons I’ve learned about love over these last 5 years … lol! Are you ready for this?? Here we go …
1. Granny panties are a GOOD thing: LOL! I mean, c’mon … I know Justin would much rather prefer to see me rocking some sexy lace panties, but trust me hunny, these granny panties mean that I REALLY love you.
2. There is Lusty Love, Romantic Love, and Committed love: Not to say we don’t have the first two in our lives still… but the committed love is a real thing and I’m SO happy to see our relationship evolve to this point. That sense of uncertainty (and the adrenaline) is gone, but the feeling of security, trust, and companionship is incredible!!
3. The tough times are important: A perfect relationship seems ideal, but looking back I now realize that all the shitty times have made us stronger, more appreciative and respectful of each other’s hearts! I’m just as grateful for the crap as I am the good times!
4. A love/loathe relationship is REAL: Yeah, I THINK it’s perfectly normal??? I find is SO fascinating that one day you can look at your partner and think they’re the sexiest human being and then seconds later you look at them and think how is this human still in my bed?! LOL!! Justin and I always laugh about how much we love each other but also how much we drive each other CRAZY.
5. People don’t intend to disappoint you: People are SO multifaceted and DIFFERENT. Justin and I have SO much in common, that when either one of us would disappoint one another, we thought it MUST have been intentional. But in a committed relationship, no one WANTS to disappoint you, so now when either one of us are disappointed in the other, we remind ourselves that it wasn’t intentional, that, of COURSE, we are loved and first decide A) if it’s worth bringing up and B) if it is, give it some time, and then C) figure out how we are going to address it. By changing our approach from ‘getting mad’ to being kind and asking questions… it changed our communication effectiveness SO much, and allowed us to be more open minded to learning more about each other’s sensitivities!
6. The 20/80 rule: Justin and I both think we are HILARIOUS (obviously … lol) so we tend to take playful jabs at each other and while it’s fun to poke fun, it also needs to be balanced with positive affirmations so it stays lighthearted for everyone! That’s when our personal 20/80 rule was born! For every 1 time I poke fun at each other we try to give each other 4 compliments!
7. Take the pressure off: I think sometimes we have this whole idea of what our relationship SHOULD look like and how exactly it should unfold and we forget to just let go and live in the moment! Do yourself a favour and just let go … this is when the magic happens!
8. Just get over it: Those little things that annoy you that turn into meaningless arguments or frustrations … we’ve ALL had these. But before letting them really get to you, you should ask yourself, if it will matter in 5 years, 5 days or 5 hours?? If the answer is NO, time to get over it, have a little makeup session (wink wink nudge nudge) … and moooove on!
9. Make time for each other: I know … this is cliche but I find it’s the HARDEST thing to incorporate into our schedule but it’s SO important! Apparently, I need to follow my own advice … LOL! Justin and I have set time aside to go over our schedules with each other, not only does this keep us in the loop so we can be efficient with our time but it also keeps up aligned and working together as a team!
10. There is always room for improvement: I think as individuals it’s so important to continue to learn and grow with your partner and work on things as they pop up. When it boils down to it, nobody is perfect.
So, as you can tell, I’m by NO means a relationship expert, I’m constantly learning and growing … and changing how I see and do things which I think is the most important thing to do in order to keep evolving and strengthening your relationship! If any of YOU have learned some special lessons along the way in your relationships, I beg you, PLEASE share them in the comments below!!
And as for you, Justin, I am so proud of how our relationship has grown and strengthened over these last few years. We’ve certainly been through our ups and downs and as you know, we had a pretty rocky start!! We’ve grown not only as individuals but as a family and I’m so thankful we took the time to figure our shit out because I couldn’t be more thankful for the relationship we have today! I absolutely love you with ALL of my heart and cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you … better yet, let’s put Nacho in the spare bedroom tonight and you can cuddle up extra close to these granny panties of mine …