THE JH SHOP

Jilly’s Favorite Things

Meet Team Jilly

Girls just want to have fun! Meet Jillian and the girls (plus one guy and two dogs) behind the brand and get to know the team behind JillianHarris.com

Meet Jilly + The team

Shop My Latest

COLLABORATIONS

Shop Now

SEarch

Artboard 2

shop the presets

#JILLYPRESETS

And edit your photos like Jill - in just one click!

get the insta-famous

Stay in the loop on all things Jilly! Be the first to receive exclusive content, hear about upcoming collaborations, sales and much more!

Get the Jilly Newsletter

New Post Updates

Collaborations

VIP-Exclusive Content

Visit the shop

navigate

all things LOVE, fashion, family, food, and home decor since 2009

How to be a better ally with Coach Carey

3

Sep

2020

Jillian Harris

How to Be a Better Ally and Why It’s Important to Do So

Good morning everyone!! I am overjoyed to welcome today’s blog contributor … drum roll, please … Raia ‘Coach’ Carey! Raia and I just recently connected at this year’s virtual Atelier conference. I was so captivated by Raia’s session, her positive energy was contagious and the discussion was captivating! At that moment, I knew I had to reach out to see if she would be willing to share her wealth of knowledge and positivity with all of YOU! After a few emails, we convinced Raia to contribute not just one post, but a series of them! Raia is taking over the blog today to discuss how to become a better ally and why it’s so important! 

So, without further adieu, I’ll let Raia get right into it! 

I’ll never forget the day I found out the colour of my skin made me different from my peers. I was in 2nd grade, hanging out with the kids that lived on my street. We often walked over to the nearby high school to play capture the flag and soccer. On this particular day, there were a few more kids from the neighbourhood who showed up. The words I heard that afternoon continued to ring in my mind for years.

“Why are you playing with Raia? She’s Black.”

I knew from that moment, that some people may not accept me solely because of my skin.

How to be an ally

The realization that the colour of your skin determines how you’re treated before someone even gets to know you are not exactly a feel-good moment, especially when you’re the only Black person in most of the spaces you enter. Dealing with covert racism throughout my life taught me why allies must exist in the first place. At some point, I became desensitized to the injustices happening to people that look like me. I became numb after coming face to face with racism at such a young age. I’m grateful to have allies support me and stand up for me, but I want every person that is ever in a similar situation to be able to say the same.

To those wanting to become better allies and those new to allyship, I see you and thank you. In order to be a better ally, you first need to understand what it means to be an ally. You need to understand that racism is not just another country’s problem, it exists deep within the systems and lifestyles of everything surrounding us. You’ve likely seen a multitude of ways to show up over the past few months on social media, from diversifying your social feed to signing petitions. Online activism is an effective and free way to support this movement but it shouldn’t be the only way you show up.

How to become a better ally

Don’t resort to defensiveness

Part of being an ally requires a willingness to accept that you may have done or said something hurtful to someone unintentionally. Having racial bias or saying a microaggression does not mean you are automatically a racist. It’s critical to acknowledge that everybody processes, feels and grieves differently. The way one Black person feels may not be the same way another feels. If someone is open enough with you to explain a situation that may have caused harm, be open to hearing them out, apologize and commit to doing better.

Actively seek to learn and understand

To put it simply, be prepared to do the work. Nobody is going to hold your hand through allyship, however, there are hundreds of people creating collections of resources to give you a great head start. Allocate time to researching on your own so you can truly understand how we got to this point as a society.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

You’ve likely heard this phrase a lot lately. Racial bias stems deep within our communities in a multitude of ways that you may not even be aware of. To address what’s happening out there, we need to address what’s happening in our own inner circles. Having conversations with family and friends that may not agree with you off the bat can seem daunting, but it’s necessary. Instead of calling them out, call them in. Hear what they have to say and talk them through what you’ve learned.

Make meaningful donations if possible

This is an extremely difficult time for so many of us, and while monetary donations are certainly encouraged, there are other cost-free ways you can donate. For example, consider donating your time to an organization that you believe in. If you’re unable to make a contribution in those ways, support organizations that you would like to donate to in the future by sharing their platforms on your social media. Encouraging your friends and followers to get involved and take action is a domino effect.

Create an action plan for what you will do moving forward

Ask yourself what changes you’re willing to make in your daily life to support this movement. While it’s crucial to amplify Black voices, support Black-owned businesses and continuously educate yourself, creating a sustainable and long-term plan is equally important. Rather than leaping into allyship full-force, ask yourself how you can stand with the Black community long-term. Whether it’s allocating a monthly donation to a cause that means something to you or starting a book club within your friend group, there are countless ways to engage in this lifelong commitment.

Lastly, this list is just the surface. We all must continue to hold ourselves and the people around us accountable. There is no “easy way” to combat racism, but starting the work of being an ally is the only way to move forward. It’s okay to make mistakes, provided that you’re willing to learn from them.

If you want to connect with me you can visit my new website here or follow me on social here!

Until next time!

Raia

Add Comment

1

show / 

 hide comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Christie says:

    Thank You Raia Coach Carey! Everything you have shared is brilliant! I have been that child and learnt at a young age my skin colour and the skin colour of my siblings made us different, As an adult I am on a path of educating and advocating.
    Thank you so much for what you do!
    Christie

binge ALL the latest JH posts

THE JH SHOP

Jilly's Favourite Things

see more in the shop

Artboard 2

GET THE
JILLY NEWSLETTER

Stay in the loop on all things Jilly! Be the first to receive exclusive content, hear about upcoming collaborations, sales and much more!

New Post Updates

Collaborations

VIP-Exclusive Content

Sort by:

life

Food

Fashion

HOME

Travel

Beauty

All

All-Time Favourites

Baby

How to be a better ally with Coach Carey

View the post

Good morning everyone!! I am overjoyed to welcome today’s blog contributor … drum roll, please … Raia ‘Coach’ Carey! Raia and I just recently connected at this year’s virtual Atelier conference. I was so captivated by Raia’s session, her positive energy was contagious and the discussion was captivating! At that moment, I knew I had […]

01

FEATURED POSTS

Cameo Fort McMurray Update

02

Team Jilly and The Birds Papaya

03

Team Jilly Headquarters Update

04

Annie's Nursery

05

Peggy's Green Smoothie Recipe

View the post

Hey everyone! It’s Jillian’s mama, Peggy here! A few weeks ago I was over at Jillian’s house and she shared on her IG stories that I would be sharing my go-to green smoothie recipe and mental health journey with all of you! If you missed my mental health journey blog post, you can check it […]

01

FEATURED POSTS

Pink Potato Soup Recipe

02

03

A Beginners Guide to Making a Loaf of Sourdough

04

Sourdough Discard Crackers

05

View the post

Hey everyone! It’s Peggy, I know … can you believe it?! I am back on the blog again! At this rate, you would think I am a professional blogger! LOL! After a highly requested outfit round-up, I am back today to share a closet staple that I can’t live without, capris! I love capris! I […]

01

FEATURED POSTS

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2020

02

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2020

03

04

05

Leo's Star Wars Bedroom Update

View the post

After Justin, Leo, Annie, and I got back from our trip to Disneyland, Leo was suddenly obsessed with all things Star Wars. I mean, how could he not be?! The Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge attraction felt like we were transported right out of Disneyland and onto the set of the movie! So it goes without […]

01

FEATURED POSTS

The Ultimate Man Cave Reveal

02

Digital Prints to Refresh Your Space

03

Outdoor Dining Room Set-Up

04

Saje Wellness and Jillian Harris Diffuser Launch

05

Baby Sleep Training Schedule

View the post

Good morning everyone!! Some of you that have followed me on Instagram for a while know that we practically started sleep training Leo as soon as he was born. I was heading back to work after just six short weeks and didn’t have much of a maternity leave; because of that, I desperately needed him to […]

01

FEATURED POSTS

Jillian Harris and Family

02

03

Leo & Annie's Book Club: Bedtime Favourites

04

Sibling Fighting: Just as painful as nails on a chalkboard!

05

Kaitlin Does My Makeup: Her Favourite Tips, Tricks, & How-To's

View the post

Kaitlin and I are SO EXCITED to finally share this tutorial with you today!! As many of you know, Kaitlin Hargreaves is my Makeup Artist on set of Love It Or List It and on our big shoot days! I’ve known Kaitlin for seven years now and she’s the only one that I trust to […]

01

FEATURED POSTS

Jillian Harris Natural Deodorant

02

Jillian Harris Every Day Cruelty Free Makeup Tutorial

03

Jillian Harris Young Living DIY Body Scrub

04

Jillian Harris and Erin Sousa DIY Rose Honey Brown Sugar Lip Scrub

05

Peggy's Journey with Mental Health and Wellness

View the post

Hi everyone, it’s Jillian’s mama, Peggy here! Many of you who have followed Jillian since her Bachelor and Bachelorette days may or may not know that I have had quite a mental health journey. For those who didn’t see, she shared this on national television 12 years ago without my consent…LOL!  To be honest, I […]

01

FEATURED POSTS

Jillian and Justin Properties

02

Jillian Harris Pastic Free July

03

Shayla Stonechild

04

Shayla Stonechild

05